Fear...not?

2nd May:

Kuching's late afternoon sky was horrible and terrifying. It was filled with eye-glaring lightnings, earth-breaking thunders, gusty winds and not to mention heavy downpours for a good 2 hours too. I could not get back in time to close all the windows in the kitchen so literally, my bench top was flooded, water slipped into drawers and cabinets and wet half of the kitchen floor. It was all madness! I ended up having to mop the floor, dry up bench top, took out ALL cups, plates, bowls and utensils and washed them then dried them up before storing them away again.

While doing the grand washings, some thoughts flashed through my mind looking at the furious lightnings and thunders making their ways in the sky. I believe that Asian children are mostly (read: all) brought up in a way that parents and elders threaten and insert fear into their lives. For example, "If you do not listen to me, lightning will roll itself becoming a big ball of fire and rush into your house and chase after you." Okay. My dear mother told me that back then when I was really young but from the way how I could still remember those words so vividly, you know it has a deep impact in my life. I could recall i used to be really scared and trembled whenever there were lightnings, let alone the scary thunderstorms that followed right after.

After so many years, I do not blame my mother for telling me something like that because she was 'following' how the older generations did it to little children. Today, being a mother of 2, i still have that unknown fear for lightning deep down inside me. Yes, you heard it from right. Yesterday, when I was cleaning up the kitchen alone, those soaring lightnings made me wanted to scratch the cabinet doors like how a puppy would do when something scares him. But hey, my motherly instinct kicked in telling me I'm a mother of 2 and how can I show my kids that I'm scared of lightnings? If there were to be lightnings striking and my kids were in danger, I will be the one holding out my arms around them.

I was then questioning to myself why would older generations insert fear into their children and grandchildren. For instance, "if you're a bad boy/girl, police will catch you and put you to jail." What do they want to out of the words and actions? (I believe even younger Asian generations nowadays still do that to their children). After much thought, I came to a conclusion that the adults want to gain control over the children authoritatively and instantly. My mother wanted me to obey her words at that point of time or probably the trick would have lasted her long enough for me to obey to her words. Adults want children to stop behaving the way how children behave naively and senselessly and hence, only "locking" and "taking away one's freedom forcefully" can push the fear button of that child to make him or her stop doing what they are attempting at the point of time.

After my own experience in my life, I get this point and understand how senseless this act would be to put fear into children's life. My mother could have told me, "Lightnings and thunders will always come before the rain. It's how God invented them. Do not be afraid of them. Just stay in the house and you will be fine."

By asking oneself a simple question, one is clear with what need to be done. "Do you love your children?" If you do not, then all above would not make sense to you. If you do, then why would you want your beloved children to "fear"? Does it make you a better person if you insert the fear in your children and to see with your eyes that your children do fear what you wanted him/her to fear at the first place? If i did that, i believe i would be feeling i'm the worst ever being living in this world to make my child fear this world.

It's always good and responsible of you as a parent to tell your children in advance that some of their actions might results in injuries on them BUT never to threaten them further than giving warnings.

For instance, "Be careful, if you jump on the staircases, you might take a wrong step and fall off the staircases. You will hurt yourself and you will feel painful." Something like this is necessary for the children to learn that jumping on staircases is not okay because they will fall off and they might get hurt. If they did fall off, then they would know mommy's words are true.

"Be careful, if you jump on the staircases, you will fall off the staircases and you will hurt yourself and you will be in pain. Then ambulance will come for you and you will not be with mommy and daddy for a short period of time because you will be staying in hospital all alone." Extended version is an example of inserting fear because the parent is pushing the child's fear button that he/she will not be seeing the parents, whose child's needs, love and world are all dependable on. The psychology effect on the children might be he/she will be really scared of anything to do with needles/injuries/nurses/doctors/hospitals/ambulance for the rest of the life. You can never underestimate the much greater possibilities of how "fear" works in life.

So, being parents to our dear children who are presents from God, we really have to use our words wisely. We do not hope to raise children who have more fears than anticipation of happiness and joy of this world.

A new fitness trend is in Kuching town!

Has anyone heard of Zumba(R) Fitness before? It's not yoga. Nor aerobics. Not pilate. And nothing similar to those Lesmills BodyPump, Body Combat or RPM classes.

It's more like a dance class with fitness elements incorporated inspired by Latin/International rhythm songs. The class is always fun, energetic and full of cheers. And not to mention, you have just exercised yourself and burn those calories without you even realizing it (while you're having fun!). Just by attending a one-hour class you're already burning 700+ calories, which if you are to compare running an hour on a treadmill will averagely burn 300-400+ calories only! And with exercise, the more companions you have the merrier and you last longer throughout the fitness process.

I've recently taken the Zumba(R) Basic Training Level 1 and I am licensed to teach Zumba(R) right away. Before i'm executing this plan, i need a lot of practice first from a helpful instructor from my local gym first.

If you have two hours to spare for your own health sake in one week, come and join the fun every Wednesday 7.10-8.10pm and Saturday 2-3pm at Level Up Fitness Centre (at Padungan roundabout, the Everise Building in DUBS, behind the HSBC).

For more information, visit the Zumba official website or you can search for Zumba fitness videos on YouTube. See you in the class =)



Some of my photos attending the training class in Sabah:

Uniting all posts together under one roof

These are some of my posts from previous Wordpress account and want to gather all the posts to be under this roof. Sorry that the date stamps are a bit jumbled up with the current blog's posts.

15/06/2011

My menu

With the help from my personal trainer (PT), i’ve been losing some weights since two weeks ago even though i’ve already started my weight loss program since two months ago (with PT’s help on and off).

Two months ago, i weighed 59.9kg (not that i don’t want to round it up but the printout from the machine says so ;P) and since then, i am determined to shed that post natal fats off me! I want to look and feel good. My ultimate goal is to be a hot mama. Too hot to handle at 30! (wuahahah)

My PT has just recently put me on high protein diet, saying my somatotype (whoa! And that means body type) is unforgiving towards sugary and sweet drinks/food. Bye bye Coke, Hello Ice Lemon Tea without sugar =( This is definitely not easy for me because my limit was to have less sugary drink and not no-sugar-added ones. I even eat much less carbohydrate even though i’ve cut down on it a lot previously.

Diet plan:

Morning:

1. 4 egg whites

2. 1/2 bowl quick cook cereal with skim milk (warmed up in microwave) – Total of my carb intake for the whole day

3. green apple (on some days)

Mid-morning (depends on how late i have breakfast, sometimes i just skip the brunch):

1. Dry wholemeal crackers

2. Coffee with skim milk (no sugar added..and do not cheat on that)

Noon (This is when i can feast!! By feasting, i mean, eat a lot of protein and avoid carb):

1. Salad (vinegarette dressings)

2. Grilled chicken breast/steam chicken breast

3. 2 egg whites

4. No sugary drink

Mid noon:

1. Protein bars

2. Dry crackers

3. Sugarless coffee with skim milk

4. Fruit

Evening:

1. Grilled/Smoked/Steamed chicken breast, salmon…beef

2. Salad

3. Totally no carb during evening time

Supper:

1. If i’m really hungry, i drink water and wait for it to reach my stomach. Maybe that’s all i need.

2. If not, i’ll munch on a piece of biscuit dipped in tuna.

Boring? Sometimes it may be a bit dull but hey, i’m in my slimming and body toning progress. And i need to watch my diet because i have this type of body that absorbs excess carbs EASILY! Instead of mourning and complaining, i’ll just adapt this into my lifestyle and make it a norm. That way, i can enjoy it better. Up & Beyond!

Average Kgs: 56.6

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

19/06/2011

Cortisol!

Okay. I feel down because over the weekend I’d indulged myself with food a bit over the border line.

A little bit mor of sugar, carb, and some fried food like fried fish and then cook with some syrup to make it juicy. It was heaven! And then hell.

I am on diet for goodness sake and I shouldn’t even be thinking about those food. At all!

And to summarize this whole feeling, I feel it’s “impossible” to achieve the great toned physical figure that my PT had shown me as my goal.

What the…!!

I should just get some sleep and start all over again for a new week tomorrow. What the….!!!!!!

KGs: 57.0

As you can see, there are ups and downs when one is doing the dieting, slimming and exercising so it’s okay to feel down from time to time. Not that i’m going to die from guilts anyway. =)

辭不掉的崗位

前三年都過著Part-time媽咪的生活，看孩子比其他人輕鬆得許多。

今年3月，決定了做Full-time媽咪看顧3歲4個月大的女兒，1歲9個月的小兒還是一樣part-time給姨姨看顧。等Ian比較大點就全職的看顧兩個孩子。希望我做得好吧！

當媽媽不容易，當個好媽媽更是難上加難。是時候學習怎樣做個全職媽咪了。好期待這份據有人生意義及附有挑戰性的工作！

Girl vs Boy?

Parenting has never come easy. Being a mother for 3 years now, i have two life experiences with a 3 years old toddler girl and 1 year 8 months baby-todd (if there's this term) boy. And both are experiences are so different.

I could still barely remember that my baby girl needed to be carried to go to sleep. And the person who carried her MUST walk around. Any chance of sitting down or even just a mere leaning against something will sent her wailing, crying and waking up. Previous effort reset and it started all over again. She was cranky when it came to night sleep (napping was all fine for her) and she never wanted to be alone. She had her breast milk on an on and off basis during the confinement month and stopped in the second month. All i could remember is the all teary and blue me. First year of a newbie mom was my nightmare. I was then so scared to have second baby. I thought every baby would be the same. Tough, noisy, teary, cranky, difficult to be breastfed, fussy.

Second baby came unexpectedly when Chloe was 9 months old. I was like "What the....? Do these all have to start all over again?" Little did i know that i was so wrong. Ian's first year was nothing like Chloe's. He had his breast milk until 5 months old. He fell asleep at the blink of an eye. He didn't and doesn't need any carrying to go to sleep. He was not cranky at all. In fact, he was very soft and quiet. He cried softly. He squeaked softly. He made soft little noises for attention. He was so, so easy. As at his age now, he still only needs his smelly pillow and pacifier and a little toss on the bed before he falls asleep right til the morning.

By doing the comparison above, i have no intention to compare the two kids but to just note down the difference between my individually baby girl and boy during their childhood years. They're both my proud and happiness in life.

I'm so blessed they grow up strong and healthy (and naughty). Chloe is a big che che (sister in Chinese) now and trust me, siblings do fight over stuffs (and even parents) at times. But i know, she really adores her little brother. She does share her toys and food sometimes. She plays an important role in the family to guide her brother of what's right and wrong, verbal communications, bank of vocabulary, behaviours and life experiences. I can see that Ian is coming up strong after her and is learning and picking up things quicker with Chloe's guidance. He wants to be with his sister most of the time. He imitates her actions, words, sentences and expressions. Sometimes he imitates without knowing what's the actual meaning behind those words. Looking at them growing up day by day is a real blessing for me.

2012年新成員，小黃

他，彌補了我五年來的遺憾。

謝謝，老公。

媽媽說：

媽媽這樣對出嫁的女兒說:

媽媽說，生氣的時候不要吵架，可以不說話，不洗他衣服 ，但是，不要和他吵架。

媽媽說，和男人吵架了不要跑到外面去張揚，他向你邁進一步，你就向他走兩步。

媽媽說，家是女人的大本營，發生什麼事情都不要走。因為，回來路的很難。

媽媽說，兩個人在家不要老想著面子，兩個人過日子，面子很重要？那在外面怎麼 生活 ？

媽媽說，不管一個男人多有錢，他還是希望可以看到乾乾淨淨的你在乾乾淨淨地家等他。

媽媽說，好男人很多，他不會去抱別的女人。但是這種社會，很多壞女人會伸手去抱你的男人。

媽媽說，女人一定要出去工作，不管錢賺得多或是少，工作就是自己人生價值的體現。你一直在家，男人有機會在你面前說：“是我在養你。”

媽媽說，你在外面工作，家裏的事情再忙也要做，不然花自己的錢請個鐘點工。家裏的事情一定要好好做，小孩也要好好教。

媽媽說，他為你做了意想不到的事情，你可以感動，可以誇獎，千萬不要嘲諷地說 “太陽從西邊出來了啊”，如果這樣，以後他不會為你做任何事情。

媽媽說，誰都不是誰的另一半，你的想法不說出來誰會瞭解？需要什麼感受，討厭什麼事情，你告訴別人，別人才會懂。

媽媽說，他的父母也是你的父母，就算他的父母對你不是很好，你也要對他們好。因為他們是他的父母。

媽媽說，決定和什麼人在一起了，就不要去埋怨苦日子，既然你選擇了他，就不要去埋怨他。

媽媽說，那麼有錢有什麼用，人呢？人在哪里？

媽媽說，我們這輩子能花多少錢？不要買什麼奢侈品，過得 幸福 就好。

媽媽說，不要唬小孩 “媽媽不要你”，不要生氣地時候把小孩推出門，如果他真的不見了，你會很痛苦。

媽媽說，不要打小孩，更不要在外面打。

媽媽說，打打殺殺的愛很刺激，也很浪漫。但是，不現實。普通就好。

媽媽說，什麼都是緣分。

媽媽說，生命無常，要好好珍惜每一天。

Highlighted RED are the ones i like the most.

HIghlighted BLUE are the ones i like a lot.